Boy, that snowman appears to be like mad

Jan. 29—So, if I am nonetheless round subsequent winter (please, God, no) and also you hear me say phrases like “Golly! It positive has been a light winter to date!” or “Jeepers! Why, it is mid-January and there is hardly any snow on the bottom at ALL!” I would like you to come back over together with your favourite snow brush and beat me concerning the head with it till I cease saying issues like that. I imply, the phrases have been barely out of my mouth final week when 15 inches of SHUT UP fell straight out of the sky.

And by the best way, are you want me? Do you wish to exit to shovel the yard at 3 a.m., considering you are getting waaaaay forward of these different fools who will not get to it til hours later? You go to mattress all smug and glad considering you’ve got actually pulled one over on Ma Nature and her cohorts. You then get up 9 hours later to see {that a} foot of snow has fallen because you hit the sack and your late-night efforts did not add as much as squat. You have to love these conditions the place your first utterance of the day is: “#!!#$##!”

When gunshots rang out in Lewiston final week, I used to be standing in my yard doing just about nothing in any respect. When gunfire thundered from close by, I considered jogging alongside to see what the fuss was earlier than discovering that after once more, I used to be standing on the market within the snow in my slippers. I imply, why am I all the time wandering about exterior in my slippers, anyway? Am I destined to change into a type of dudes who wanders round everywhere in slippers and a bathrobe, mumbling to himself and customarily freaking folks out on the grocery retailer? Let’s hope so as a result of I might completely get into that life-style.

That for those who put your trash out in a bag not protected by a can, crows will assault it. However provided that your trash is in a white bag. Crows will not contact the darker luggage, in keeping with road lore, due to chook causes. This makes the scientist in me wish to go away trash out in each coloured luggage to see what occurs. I am going to do it at a neighbor’s home in case it is messy. Science!

A day after the realm was soaked by some fairly hefty rain, I noticed a snowman in anyone’s yard that had been whittled down by Mother Nature in order that it appeared like a large hand giving me the finger. It was impolite and useful, sure, however in contrast to most center fingers I see all through the day, no less than this one had a reasonably hat on it.

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