A dad whose TikTok video of his postpartum spouse exercising whereas their home was messy kindled a war over gender roles says his critics missed his level.
“It was a message I stood by, and nonetheless do,” Phil MacKenzie, 35, a Canadian father of 4, mentioned in an look on TODAY along with his spouse, Brodie, on Jan. 30.
“I believe mothers, and Brodie specifically, have to put themselves first and I believe there’s that burden of girls really feel that they must maintain every little thing, and it’s attempting to shift that narrative.”
“I’m completely happy to assist out on a regular basis,” he mentioned. “Neither of us get to take a seat down, however I nonetheless know inside you kills you, such as you assume that’s your duty and attempting to shift that narrative.”
MacKenzie says he was proud his spouse took a while to concentrate on herself.
“I noticed her doing one thing for herself, and I believe that was essentially the most wonderful factor as a result of she’s at all times placing everybody else in entrance of herself, proper?” he mentioned. “Youngsters, household, home. And I believe, to me, that mess can wait. We will deal with it afterward.”
Brodie and Phil are dad and mom to sons Hudson, 5, twins Preston and Boden, 2, and Ashton, 3 months. Brodie mentioned she has been capable of take the controversy in stride.
“As I used to be figuring out, a chunk of macaroni and cheese fell off of me and I used to be dying laughing. I used to be like, ‘That is chaos, however I’m simply going to get my exercise in and really feel higher for it.’ And I did,” she mentioned.
Earlier this month, Phil posted a now-viral TikTok video of “tremendous mother” Brodie exercising at dwelling.
“At this time, I walked in on my spouse figuring out whereas our new child napped,” the founding father of a health app, captioned the video, now with greater than 4 million views.
“Our home was a catastrophe. Dishes wanted to be cleaned. Laundry wanted to be performed,” he continued. “And 1,000,000 different issues she felt she needed to do. But, I couldn’t be extra proud. She as an alternative determined to take just a bit time to herself that she deserved 10 instances over.”
“All the time do not forget that YOU DESERVE time to your self,” he wrote. “The mess and chores can at all times wait, however your psychological well being ought to by no means be sacrificed.”
Whereas Brodie adored her husband’s message, as did others, they had been within the minority.
“Husbands will do every little thing however the family chores,” somebody chided on TikTok.
“You bought palms. Clear,” wrote a commenter.
“How about serving to her?” requested another person; a consumer wrote, “Dude? Strive pitching in.”
Brodie shook off the criticism that Phil wasn’t serving to her out, saying he does greater than his fair proportion.
“He at all times does,” she mentioned on TODAY. “We at all times joke that we’re like a WWE tag crew. Youngsters flying at us, I’m in a chokehold. He’s cleansing and we’re at all times counting on one another.”
“Our home would implode if we weren’t each all palms on deck 24/7,” she added.
Brodie beforehand informed TODAY.com that she did not take the negativity that critically.
“Among the feedback had been hilarious however I felt responsible as a result of he didn’t deserve the backlash,” she mentioned.
The mother defined the 19-second video was shot throughout a pocket of downtime. The couple are dad and mom of Hudson, 5, twins Preston and Boden, 2, and Ashton, 3 months.
“I get anxiousness when my house is messy and that holds me again from exercising,” she mentioned. “Phil was exhibiting how proud he was that I left the mess till we may clear collectively.”
The couple mentioned their marriage is a partnership.
“It’s not a one-way road — and I’d by no means need it that approach, in any other case there’s resentment,” Phil informed TODAY.com. “We cut up the load, but it surely’s at all times evolving.”
He added, “If I may help somebody make that thoughts shift and let the mess wait, that’s a win.”
The couple will get some reduction on the subject of cleansing, too. Whereas showing on TODAY, they had been gifted with a yr of dwelling cleansing from Molly Maid.
“That’s wonderful,” Brodie mentioned.
This text was initially printed on TODAY.com