This is what you need to know before you buy the tab for your whole table

Although it takes some planning, here are the keys to winning at the most generous games.

It’s nice to go out to a restaurant and be able to take care of the check for the whole table. If you’re a parent dining out with your young children, it’s a given that you’re paying for everything. Except if your kid has a parttime job that allows him or her to contribute to the high prices of craft cocktails. It can be difficult to pay the check when adults go out drinking with other adults. It can be difficult and tedious to log in to a calculator and track every penny spent. You can also divide it evenly amongst all, but that is always a bad idea. It seems less equitable when one person has a glass of seltzer and a salad while another person has lobster ravioli, a steak, and three glasses each of wine. If you are inclined to take care of the entire check and you’re in a financial situation to do so, go for it. It might seem as simple as handing a credit card to a server in a grand gesture of generosity, but there’s more finesse to it.

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Do not make a scene

What you don’t want to do is make a big scene about it. Waiting until the check is delivered is not the time to announce you’re taking care of it. It will create a fiasco; people’s credit cards fly out of wallets and purses in feigned attempts at pretending they don’t want someone else to pay for their meal. It can make things very uncomfortable for everyone, including the server who must decide which of the credit cards they should accept. After surveying tens, if not dozens, of restaurant servers, there’s a general consensus on how best to pick up the tab. While there are many ways to do this, all of them rely on subtlety. Generosity doesn’t have to be loud.

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Plan Ahead

Prediction is the best way for you to be sure that you are paying for the check. Call the restaurant ahead of time and inform the staff that you are the one who will be handling it and then arrive early to make sure it’s understood. This could be useful in situations where your group has the same idea. Parents with full-grown children may want to write the check. You need to be quick to beat them at your own game. Once you’ve handed over your credit card, the server will know that you’ve taken the bull by the ears. You should make it clear that only one credit card should be used and that any other credit cards should not be used. Servers can be convinced by grandparents to pay. You will pay the bill.

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Be smooth about it

You may instead choose to hand your credit card to the server as they process your order. This method requires smooth moves so that no one else in the party knows what you’re up to. Imagine James Bond slipping a $100 bill in the palm of a valet so that his Aston Martin DB5 gets extra attention. Now, you do it, but instead of a c-note it’s a credit card and instead of a fancy car, it’s the joy of knowing you’re treating your friends or family to a wonderful meal. Once you’ve ordered your food, give the menu to your server.

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If you are in dire need of it, sneak away

If foresight isn’t part of your future or past, you can still make sure you are the one who gets the bill. You can excuse yourself at any time during your meal to use the bathroom. Then, go to the restroom to inform your server. This is the most popular approach, and it’s the one most servers appreciate the most. Waiting until this point can put you at risk of being outclassed by someone else. If that’s the case, you’ve lost out, because that someone also told the server to not accept anyone else’s credit card. Don’t persuade. Don’t try to persuade. Please try again.

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Get the Big Reveal

When the check arrives at the table, that’s when everyone will start to sweat about how it’s going to be split. It’s time for the big reveal. Say, “I already took care of the check. It’s on me and I wanted to do it.” This is the cue for others at the table to start offering to take care of the tip, but it’s not necessary because you’re taking care of that too. You’re the only one who knows the total so you’re the one who knows what 20% would be. There will be. lots of jokes like, “If I would have known, I’d have ordered another bottle of wine, hardy har har,” but it’s done. The tab has been paid. Don’t expect the next time you go out with the same people for someone else to pay for everything. This isn’t a game of round robin. This was what you did because it was the right thing to do. Generosity should be accompanied by grace, and not expect anything in return.