“Sister Wives”’ Meri Brown Reflects on Having ‘a Myriad of Emotions’ 3 Weeks After Garrison Brown’s Death

“Grief sends you on a roller coaster of emotions, never knowing the twists and turns ahead, whether you’re headed into an upturn or a free fall,” Meri Brown shared

Meri Brown is getting candid about the grief she is experiencing on the anniversaries of Garrison Brown and her mother’s deaths.

The Sister Wives star, 53, paid tribute to her mother Bonnie Ahlstrom on the third anniversary of her death, and marked the 3-week anniversary of Garrison’s death, on Instagram Tuesday.

“Today, March 26, marks 3 years since the passing of my beautiful mom, and 3 weeks since the passing of our sweet Garrison,” she wrote alongside a split image of her with both of her loved ones.

Related: Sister Wives‘ Christine Brown Is Focusing on ‘Work’ in Order to ‘Keep Moving Forward’ After Garrison’s Death

The reality star then reflected on how grief can bring about “a myriad of emotions,” including “despair and anger, feelings of pain, or hopelessness.” She added, “It’s a universal human emotion and a natural response to loss.”

“Grief is also love, for without feeling the love, the pain of loss wouldn’t be so great,” she continued. “Grief sends you on a roller coaster of emotions, never knowing the twists and turns ahead, whether you’re headed into an upturn or a free fall.”

“Grief is not linear. There’s no timeline or rulebook to follow. It’s not the same for any two people, and no two people handle it in the same exact way.”

Related: Sister Wives’ Savanah Brown Says Brother Garrison ‘Is No Longer in Pain’ in Tribute

She opened up about how she has experienced loss from the deaths of her loved ones to the splits with ex-husband, Kody Brown, and former boyfriend, Amos, sharing, “I’ve had my share of loss, both through death and the endings of relationships, and each loss is individual and has a unique timeline of manageability.”

“Having lost to death both parents, three siblings, and now one of our boys, I recognize my coping mechanisms,” she wrote. “I recognize when I need to go inward and be alone, letting the grief move through me as I cry alone into my pillow. I recognize when I need to surround myself with my trusted people to gather strength from them. I recognize when I need to attempt, in some small way, a semblance of normalcy. In each step, it takes a little bit of bravery to recognize and give that gift to myself.”

Meri added: “My timeline of grief, the way I deal with it, the emotions I feel through it, might be different than yours, and yours may be different than the next person’s. Neither is right, and neither is wrong. It just is.”

Related: Christine Brown Vows to ‘Always’ Honor Garrison as She Struggles with ‘Difficult Balance’ of ‘Embracing Life’ and Grieving

Meri admitted that she is adjusting to a new normal amid her grief, explaining, “Life will never go ‘back’ to normal after a loss, that particular ‘normal’ will never be again. But it will go forward. It always moves forward.”

“It then becomes a question of, what will you do in that forward? What will that new normal look like? What will you do to honor the love and the relationship with the person you lost?” she shared.

“For me, I will remember and celebrate the good times and beautiful memories. I will honor myself and feel the grief when it arises because it inevitably will,” she concluded. “But most importantly, I will live, and I will love every day of that living!”

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Earlier this month, Christine’s former sister wife, Janelle Brown, announced her son Garrison’s sudden death at age 25 in a statement shared to Instagram.

“Kody and I are deeply saddened to announce the loss of our beautiful boy Robert Garrison Brown,” her post began. “He was a bright spot in the lives of all who knew him. His loss will leave such a big hole in our lives that it takes our breath away.”

“We ask that you please respect our privacy and join us in honoring his memory,” the statement concluded. His father Kody, 55, also shared the same statement on social media, and many members of the Brown family followed suit.

At the time, Lieutenant Charles M. Hernandez II of the Flagstaff Police Department also confirmed the sad news, telling PEOPLE in a statement: “On 03/05/2024 Flagstaff Police officers responded to a report of a death inside a home.” The FPD confirmed that Garrison’s brother Gabriel, 22, “discovered Mr. Brown deceased” in an apparent suicide.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.

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