There’s Nothing Sweeter Than These Child-Pleasant Valentine’s Day Jokes

On Valentine’s Day, we’ll cease at nothing to place a smile on the faces of our family members. And, positive, we are able to plan the perfect date, pick the best Valentine’s Day gift, and bake up some special desserts. However generally, making your Valentine smile takes nothing greater than a hilarious Valentine’s Day joke. Whether or not you are on the lookout for a Valentine’s Day caption for Instagram or one thing foolish to put in writing in a Valentine’s Day card, you’ll be able to’t go unsuitable with a humorous pun or one-liner.

These cute and humorous Valentine’s Day sayings are sweeter than chocolate and assured to make your family members (each children and adults) LOL all day lengthy. From intelligent Valentine’s Day puns to corny dad jokes to lovely knock-knock jokes, these hilarious concepts will get all of the giggles.

This listing is assured to have the right joke for the family members in your life, whether or not younger or outdated. That’s proper, adults and children alike are positive to be laughing their heads off once they open their Valentine’s Day card to see one in all these completely crafted jokes. Want extra inspiration for love-themed laughs? Try these funny love quotes and candy Valentine’s Day quotes.

Greatest Valentine’s Day Dad Jokes

father and daughter sharing a lemonade


  • “Why should not you belief a pastry chef on Valentine’s Day?” “As a result of he’ll dessert you.”

  • “What do you give your Valentine in France?” “An enormous quiche.”

  • “What do you inform a pig on February 14?” “Blissful Valen-swine’s Day!”

  • “Do you’ve gotten a date for Valentine’s Day?” “Sure, it is February 14.”

  • “What did the tortoise say on Valentine’s Day?” “I turt-ally love you.”

  • “How did the squirrel get his Valentine’s consideration?” “He acted like a nut.”

  • “How do you retain a jewellery retailer save on Valentine’s Day?” “You locket.”

  • “What do you name sweets that may hold a beat?” “Sweet rappers.”

  • “What do you name a romance that begins on the aquarium?” “Guppy love.”

  • “How do vampires know if they’d a profitable Valentine’s Day?” “If it is love at first chew.”

  • “Why must you date a goalie?” “He is a keeper.”

  • “What did the painter inform his girlfriend?” “I like you with all my artwork.”

  • “What did the person with the damaged leg inform his Valentine?” “I’ve a crutch on you.”

Greatest Corny Valentine’s Day Jokes

lizard and heart stamp

Fernando Trabanco Fotografía

  • “What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card?” “Be my Valen-slime!”

  • “What did the paper clip say to the magnet?” “I discover you very engaging.”

  • “Why did the husband get his spouse a kitten for Valentine’s Day?” “He thought it was the purrfect current.

  • “What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?” “I’m caught on you!”

  • “Why didn’t the skeleton need to ship any Valentine’s Day playing cards?” “His coronary heart wasn’t in it.”

  • “What’s Cupid’s favourite band?” “Kiss!”

  • “Why did the sheriff lock up their valentine?” “She stole their coronary heart.”

  • “What do you name two birds in love?” “Tweethearts!”

  • “What did the scientist say to her valentine?” “I consider you periodically.”

  • “How will you inform when a squirrel is in love?” “It goes nuts!”

  • “I believed I gained the argument with my spouse as to learn how to prepare the eating room furnishings. However once I received dwelling the tables have been turned.”

  • “I as soon as fell in love with somebody who solely knew 4 vowels. They didn’t know I existed.”

  • “What did the calculator say to the pencil?” “You may rely on me.”

  • “How did the phone suggest to his girlfriend?” “He gave her a hoop!”

  • “What did one oar inform the opposite oar?” “That is so row-mantic!”

  • “What did the sunshine bulb say to the opposite gentle bulb?” “You gentle my world up.”

  • “How will you get arrested on Valentine’s Day?” “For stealing somebody’s coronary heart.”

Greatest Valentine’s Day Joke Puns

cheerful teenage couple making funny selfies in the park, grimacing and holding paper mustaches and red lips

Getty Photographs

  • “What did one watermelon say to the opposite?” “You are one in a melon!”

  • “What do you name a really small Valentine?” “A valen-tiny.”

  • “What did the ghost say to his valentine?” “You look so BOOtiful.”

  • “If he does not admire your fruit jokes, you must let that mango.”

  • “What do farmers give for Valentine’s Day?” “Plenty of hogs and kisses.”

  • “What do you name a Valentine’s Day reward that did not arrive time?” “Choco-late.”

  • “What did one bee say to the opposite?” “I like bee-ing with you, honey!”

  • “What did one volcano say to the opposite?” “I lava you.”

  • “What did one blueberry say to the opposite on Valentine’s Day?” “I like you berry a lot.”

  • “What did the cucumber say to the pickle?” “You imply an ideal dill to me.”

  • “What did one cat say to the opposite cat on Valentine’s Day?” “You are purr-fect for me.”

  • “What did one sheep say to the opposite on February 14?” “I like ewe.”

  • “How a lot sweet do you hope to get this Valentine’s Day?” “A choco-LOT!”

  • “What did one flame say to a different on Valentine’s Day?” “We’re an ideal match.”

  • “How did the telephone suggest to his GF?” “He gave her a hoop.”

  • “How did the whale ask the opposite whale on a Valentine’s date?” “Whale you be mine?”

  • “What do you name a ghost’s sweetheart?” “A ghoul-friend.”

Greatest Valentine’s Day Knock-Knock Jokes

mixed race family father mother little daughter and son grandmother and grandfather doing photobooth during valentines day photos was taken in quebec canada this photo can be use also for mothers day, fathers day or birthday can also use for modern family brief 679006863


  • “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Olive.” “Olive who?” “Olive you!”

  • “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Peas.” “Peas who?” “Peas be mine!”

  • “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Butch, Jimmy and Joe.” “Butch, Jimmy, and Joe who?” “Butch your arms round me, Jimmy a kiss, and let’s Joe.”

  • “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Disguise.” “Disguise who?” “Disguise is your boy good friend!”

  • “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Howard.” “Howard who?” “Howard you want an enormous kiss?”

  • “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Bea.” “Bea who?” “Bea my Valentine!”

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