This Working Mom Is Going Viral For Her Reasons Why She’s Not Taking Career Advice From Men Anymore

Paige Turner (@sheisapaigeturner) is a 33-year-old working mom from Massachusetts who has been going viral for her take on why she’s not that interested in career advice from men.

Paige smiling

Lindsay Burgess

In a TikTok that’s been viewed over 3 million times, Paige explains, “I do not tend to take a lot of advice from men, even the most successful men, and I mean advice in the form of self-help books, podcasts with successful men, or just men in general. I tend to take their advice with a grain of salt because I do not think it is applicable to women and mothers in particular.”

Paige saying I do not tend to take a lot of advice from men

She goes on to discuss an example of what she means, summarizing the story of a successful man shared on a podcast about how he made it in business. His story began with becoming a parent at a really young age. “He was like 15 years old, and he had his first kid. And after breaking up with his then-girlfriend at the time and the mother of his child at 17 or 18 years old, he moved from wherever they were in Connecticut, and he moved to New York.”

She continues, sharing the “lesson” the man took from this experience. “He talks about how that journey required him to be fearless to have risk, you know, to be able to be willing to have risk. He persevered. He was patient, but he was willing to kind of do the gritty stuff. He slept on somebody’s couch. He lived in a halfway house.”

Then, Paige breaks down her issue with his advice. “And the whole time I’m listening thinking, where’s your kid? None of these things are possible with a two year old baby. You can’t sleep on somebody else’s couch with your two year old baby. You can’t stay out till 4 a.m. with your two year old baby.”

young dad reading to his toddler daughter

Oliver Rossi / Getty Images

She continues saying, “This kid is probably with his mom. This kid is with his mom probably 90% of the time. She’s probably doing 90% of the work, paying for 90% of the things, and raising him essentially on her own. This is not to say he’s not a good dad, that he didn’t participate financially or at all, because I don’t know; he doesn’t talk about it. And that is why I can’t take his advice.”

Then she points out how different that same story might look if it came from a woman’s point of view. “If it were a mother telling that story, you would know what she did for childcare, how she paid for everything for that child where they lived, who supported her, what was her village like? You would know those things because those things were critical to her success if she had success.”

“But for him it wasn’t critical because he had her. Men have women. That is the biggest lesson I’ve learned when they tell us any kind of advice about how they became successful. It’s because they had women supporting them.” Plus, a woman would most likely be judged wayyyy differently for leaving her small child with its father to pursue her career.

You can watch the full video here:

@sheisapaigeturner / Via

In the comments, people are sharing their own personal stories that mirror exactly what Paige is talking about.

my ex brags on starting a successful business but forgets to tell people he didn't pay child support for our 3 kids to do that

And they’re also calling out specific male-authored books that they found completely useless as moms.

the entire time I was reading atomic habits I was thinking how none of it was possible for primary caregivers. If books could kill podcast tears that book to shreds

And chiming in to agree with Paige’s point.

had a professor in college (mom of 3, expert in her field, charismatic) who advised to never read productivity books by men for this exact reason

Paige told BuzzFeed, “I made a bold statement that I do not take advice from men or if I do I take it with a grain of salt. I said this not intending to say men have no good advice, the problem is that often it does not apply to women. Until men and women are on equal playing fields at home and at work this will likely continue to be the case.”

“As long as women bear the burden of raising children and domestic labor, this will continue to be the case. It does not mean successful men are wrong, but they do not provide value to women in many ways.”

And she shared that her biggest ick when it comes to male advice is the way they talk about using their time. “They never talk about using their time to be in service to others and very rarely talk about how they are in service to their family. Are they helping kids get ready? Are they doing drop off? Oftentimes they talk about dedicating themselves fully to their goals at work, but very rarely do they expand on who is managing their family in order for them to do so.”

Finally, she listed a few women who she finds really inspirational. “I am a big fan of Eve Rodsky and her work. She has had a large impact on me. I have also enjoyed advice shared by Brene Brown, Shonda Rimes, Bozoma Saint John, and Rose Hackman.”

Now I’m curious: do you agree with Paige? Are there women you’d recommend for actually useful career advice? Let’s talk about it in the comments.

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