Ryan Lochte Is the Worst Part of ‘The Traitors’
There’s a handful of things and people in pop culture right now that are impossible for me to care about. Hollywood and social media insist that I feel the contrary.
There’s Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, The whole British Monarchy this rather pathetic era of Brad Pitt, Balenciaga, Emily Ratajkowksi’s dating life, James Cameron, Candace Cameron Bure Now, it’s my favorite reality show The TraitorsOlympic swimmer Ryan Lochte.
(Warning: Spoilers ahead.
For the uninitiated: The Traitors This addictive reality competition is similar to Mafia. This series was originally created in the Netherlands. Because of its success, there are now American, British, and Australian spinoffs.
Peacock has the first season of the U.S. version available for streaming in its entirety. It includes a variety of reality stars like Below Deck’s Kate Chastain, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Brandi Glanville, and Big Brother’s Cody Calafiore, and non-famous contestants. Lochte is there also for a reason. And by the time we get to the end of his four-episode stint, after he’s “murdered” by the game’s “traitors,” you have no idea why.
That’s not really true. When NBC announced the cast about a month ago, I was equally as confused about Lochte’s presence amongst far more interesting and relevant people.
I too enjoyed his star turn at this summer’s Olympics. I was so excited to see him win the gold that I even turned my face away from Michael Phelps (one of my hometown heroes). I found his embrace of the public’s perception of him as an innocent, smooth-brained jock endearing. I chuckled whenever he said “Jeah!” I even have vague memories of watching his one-season E! Reality TV show What Would Ryan Lochte Do?
But, 2023 is not the year I find this man intriguing as a public figure. I’m not even remotely thinking about his existence.
Alan Cumming Unleashes His Inner Bond Villain as Host of ‘The Traitors’
Even during moments in his career where I should actively loathe him—most notably, when he falsely reported a crime during the 2016 Olympics or when he denounced political protests at sporting events When he was hired Dancing With The Stars in spite of all this—I don’t. Why? Because he’s not that interesting. Charming. Hot. Yet, according to NBC, he’s deserving of a documentary about his rehabilitation post-Olympics scal and You can get a spot in one of the most popular reality shows right now.
Still from Episode 3 of The Traitors, “Murder The Wrote”, from left to right, Cody Calafiore, Rachel Reilly, Stephenie LaGrossa Kendrick, Ryan Lochte, Kyle Cooke, Christian De La Torre.
Euan Cherry/Peacock
On The TraitorsThe Olympian disappears almost instantly in the background. In the first episode, the other players make reference to his assumed stupidity—although, no one seems starstruck by him in the least bit. Lochte can be seen roaming the halls and listening to silly music at the Scottish castle. In his confessional, he amps up his whole “himbo” schtick. He doesn’t seem to be able to follow the rules.
In the rest of the episodes leading up to his elimination, Lochte’s barely seen. We don’t see Lochte contributing to any of his daily missions. And he’s rarely given any confessionals. Even the most laid-back contestants have the chance to talk in a room. By episode three, I genuinely thought he had quit, and the producers were hoping we’d just forget about him.
If Americans Have Any Sense, ‘The Traitors’ Will Be Our Next Hit Reality Show
Also, as my friend noted, doesn’t Lochte have way more money than all of the other competitors, even the more famous ones? A DMV manager shouldn’t have to split a quarter million dollars with someone who has sponsored Speedo and Ralph Lauren.
Think of all Bravolebrities that could’ve been cast on The Traitors instead. Vicki Gunvulson Jill Zarin Peter Vanderpump Rules! There’s no way Dorinda Medley would’ve turned this down. Would you believe what I would give for her to put on her Culombo hat? And interact with me? Alan Cumming?
All of this to say, I’m tired of NBC manufacturing demand for Ryan Lochte. It doesn’t exist. He is like Taylor Lautner or Honey Boo Boo. We don’t care anymore! We don’t care!
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